Hi, everybody – Deanndra Hall here. Today we’ve got the distinct pleasure of enjoying an interview with Dave Adams from Bliss. We hear all about Bliss in Adventurous Me, and Dave is the dungeon master there. So, Dave, welcome! Thanks for stopping by to talk to us today.
Dave: Thanks for having me! I always have time for a pretty girl.
Me: Aw, thanks! That’s so sweet! So, how long have you been in the lifestyle? How did you come to be at Bliss, and how long have you been the dungeon master there?
Dave: Well, let’s see . . . I got involved in the lifestyle when I was in my late twenties, so I guess that means almost forty years. A buddy of mine was talking about opening a club about twenty years ago, and he asked me to come in because of my experience. He’s kind of a silent entity now; I run the place for him, and I’m compensated generously. Everybody thinks I own it! I’ve been the dungeon master ever since the club opened. That was . . . actually, it’s been open for twenty-three years now.
Me: Wow! That’s a long time. So how did you come to be in the lifestyle?
Dave: I was pretty adventurous – still am. The girl I was dating when I was twenty was a few years older than me and way more experienced. She was a switch – that’s a person who can be a top or a bottom. She wanted to top me a few times, and it didn’t go too well. Then she decided to let me top her a time or two, and that was all it took. When we broke up, I went looking for another woman to top. I found a few more people who were in the lifestyle, mostly found by accident, and I started learning from them. By the time I met my ex-wife, I knew exactly what I was looking for in a woman, and I took on the role of a true Dominant.
Me: You said your ex-wife?
Dave: Yeah. She brought a woman into our relationship who wanted to top us both. That didn’t work for me – at all. I let them go on their merry way. We’re still friends, though, and I still go over and play with them from time to time.
Dave: I’ll scene with them at her house, or they’ll come to the club.
Me: Oh, I see. So what would you say is the most misunderstood aspect of BDSM?
Dave: I’d say the training thing. Every Dom does things differently, so only a dedicated Dom can train his own sub to the way he wants things done. But if you’ll let me rant for a minute . . .
Me: Feel free.
Dave: Okay, well, I’d say my biggest gripe is the idea of BDSM as therapy. I mean, I guess it could work, but I’ve never actually seen that happen. The idea that you could tie a sub up and paddle them to heal them is sort of, well, I know it can arouse them, and it could make them feel more secure, but as for healing, they need counseling. I’ve actually sent Doms and their subs to counseling when I knew something was wrong. But I would never advocate BDSM being used in that way. That’s a dangerous idea.
Me: So what do you feel your primary responsibility is? As a dungeon master, I mean.
Dave: I’ve turned out to be the counselor. Didn’t mean to, but it’s happened. I feel like it’s my job to help people have a productive experience. One of the roles I’ve had to take on in the way of counseling is just the nuts and bolts. Look, it’s a club. All of the men aren’t hung like racehorses, and all of the women don’t look like porn stars. They’re real people. They have small penises or small breasts, they’re overweight, they have scars or stretch marks. They’re not perfect. I’ve had to suggest to guys that they do some manscaping, or lose some weight, or stop doing that stupid damn comb-over. I’ve had to suggest to women that they wear a crotch-teasing skirt instead of a thong, or color their hair, or practice walking in heels. Even though they’re not perfect, they’re put out when they come into the club and find out everyone else there isn’t perfect either. They show up and can’t figure out why someone isn’t approaching them, wanting to play with them the first few times they come in. My favorite piece of advice to Dominants is to come in and buy a drink not for a sub at the bar, but for another Dominant. Get to know him. Let him introduce you around. Make some friends. I know they come in on the first night thinking they’re going to have mind-blowing sex in public with a sub they’ve only just met, but typically it’s not going to happen. It’s not about the sex – it’s about the lifestyle. They don’t get that right off. It’s my job to explain it to them and help them get integrated into the community. We lose a lot of them along the way, and that’s very, very okay.
Me: It sounds like you’re really dedicated to the lifestyle and to helping others in the community. I admire that. Anything else you’d like to add?
Dave: Yeah. Are you in the lifestyle?
Me: Me? Um, no. Why?
Dave: Just wondered.
Me: I see that twinkle in your eyes. What exactly are you thinking?
Dave: You know exactly what I’m thinking . . .
Me: Um, so . . . we’ll talk. And thanks for being here with us and being so candid. I feel like I know you a lot better now.
Dave: You’re welcome, and I’ll make it easy for you to get to know me even better. Have a drink with me?
Me: Sure. Let’s go!
Thanks for dropping by for the interview. You can learn more about Dave and his friends in Adventurous Me. I’d love to stay and chat longer, but I’ve got somewhere to be. Bye for now!
"Boring? Tiresome? Predictable? Well, we'll just see about that!"
Thirty years of marriage, no kids, and far away from her family, Trish is devastated when Ron tells her he wants a divorce because she's so "boring," and she sets out to drown her sorrows at a local bar.
But a chance encounter with an attractive older gentleman nets Trish an invitation to a club where she sees things she never knew existed. It's there that she meets a dark, sad-eyed Dom with a lot of baggage and, to make matters worse, he seems to despise her.
It's not fate that throws them together for two weeks. Trish is appalled to find that she's falling for the dark, brooding hunk, and heartbroken that it's almost certain he's not falling for her. As time goes by, Trish makes a discovery:
She went looking for adventure. She got a lot more than she bargained for. And she's hoping she'll survive it with her life.
Deanndra is offering 3 signed copies of Adventurous Me and one gold colored handcuff bracelet.
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